02 14 2018

Goals for this process:

Halt the spread of stretch marks, because although Kendrick has declared them a-ok again I'd like for my stomach to not look like the dude from Jumanji when he's getting snatched up by the living vines.

Get rid of my booty shelf so that when I embark on the trek from my office to the parking lot (a mile away) I don't have to pull my shirt down over my crack every other pace. I will, however, miss the built in space for storing books.

Gain the ability to comfortably cross my legs. And I don't mean sitting in a really deep couch that freezes any physical action in its warm embrace. I'm talking one of those folding chairs at a wedding that you'd normally be worried about holding up an infant's weight.


And boy, do I miss those Krispy Kreme donuts.

And boy, do I miss those Krispy Kreme donuts.